Sunday, December 6, 2009

Letters to my children

I got to thinking last night after I wrote the post about my life and the fact that Friday I had some pains in my left arm and my chest and my back, that landed me in the Dr. office getting an EKG, I was fine no heart attack. Anyway I got to thinking, I should leave something for my kids, So that if something should ever happen to me, They can have something tangible to look at, to know exactly how I felt about them. They would never have any unanswered questions, They would know my thoughts on certain things, etc. Then I thought also my husband could do this, He excitedly agreed. I have decided to make each one of them a book. A story like book, with words on one page and pictures on the other. I have my outline planned out for each child. I started writing a few this morning. It made me extremely happy when I was doing this, Reminiscing about their growing up thus far, and thinking of things I would like them to know. My oldest and I are best friends, But I was hardest on her and would love her to know the method to my madness and how awesome I think she is. To my 17 year old son, Who I almost lost at 3 months old to RSV, How that affected me, And how he overcame some tough times between ages 8-12 and came out a great great young man. To my 14 year old, We have had a tough relationship, She is a very emotional child, But I wonder if she knows she is my most loving child. To my 5 year old son Jacob, That it seems I am on him all the time to keep him at task because of his adhd, But how is the funniest kid I have ever seen, Anytime I need a laugh he is right there cheering me up. To my 5 year old Joshua, How I also seem hard on him with his adhd, But I know he does not know now that I watch him so many times a day with a smile on my face because he is so articulate, When he eats it is mesmerizing, His schoolwork is quality not quantity, he never gets as much done as Jacob, But everything is done with the most care. To the baby who is 2, How I was so scared when he was born, Because the twins required so much of my attention with their adhd, and I worried so much about how he would cope with that. How he was so easy going and just flowed with me, Made things so easy, How he brought utter joy to my life everyday since birth, And that everything he does, even naughty makes me giggle.

I am really excited about this, I hope they get half as much out of this that I will take away. But most of all I will have peace that they know how I valued each one of them, in good and bad, And that I always loved them and was always proud of them no matter what!!!!