Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Times like these.....

It is times like these that a mother would be nice to have. I always get like this when I am pregnant. I am not really completely sure what I am missing, Just from what others say. I don't dwell on it too much just crosses my mind here and there. I know what kind of mom I am. The kind that irritates my teenagers with cards and little gifts for special occasions ( Don't let me miss one little thing though and they are irritated I missed it hahaha). I think it will be awsome to be a grandma. I will bake cookies, do crafts with them, spend as much time as I am allowed with them, probably suffocate them with attention. My oldest has already decided that I will homeschool her kids when she has them while she goes to work. I can't wait to be there for my kids when they ask for advice or want my help or I just notice that they need me, Which I do now. So where did I get this from???? How did I turn out this way?? Both of my parents are cold as ice. I have seen my dad once since I was 9, I am 39, and that was ugly. My mom has never been able to stand me. She calls me a low class breeder to other family members. SHe could not stand me as a child or an adult. We split when I was 23 and I did not speak again to her until she was found homeless in 2007 and I brought her to live with us for a year and then she had to go. She was awful and mean to my kids, They begged me and I mean begged me to make her go away. She went to live near my brother and is causing him problems too. It is funny because he is alot like me with his son. So how in the world did we turn out so different from our parents? Don't get me wrong I am glad we did. It just makes me mad sometimes that she is the way she is. My kids do not have a grandma, Hubby's mother passed years ago. I do not have a mother, I really never did, I just missed what I saw others had. I know this feeling will pass it always does for long periods of time. A mother's instict I guess some just have it and other's don't. Give your intrusive, showering when not even asked for advice, sometimes bossy and irritating mother an extra hug this Mother's day because if you have that kind of mother you truly have no idea what life is like without it and you don't want to know, Michelle


Scottish Twins said...

I am sure you are a wonderful mother because of your experiences. I'm sorry you don't have the relationship with your mother that you would like to have. Don't give up on it, though. You never know when she may come back to you asking for forgiveness.

Thanks for the reminder that I need to let my mother know how much she is loved and appreciated!

frugalredneck said...

Your very welcome, Possibly one day she will. Michelle